A letter from Mituna
by 8R0K3N-C4P70R5
Summary: Just a little drabble/headcanon in which Mituna has a lucid moment and decides to write down some thoughts. Rated M for language.


**Oh hey look! I'm writing a fic! Isn't that something X3**

 **Aanyway this is a little drabble/headcanon that I have about Mituna having lucid or 'clear moments' where he can actually think straight and pretty much be his normal self, in my mind his normal self being perfectly literate and actually quite clever. This has been stuck in my head for a while so I'm getting it written down while it's fresh in my mind!**

 **I don't own Homestuck, everything belongs to Andrew Hussie.**

 **Enjoy!**

You grab your husktop while everything is still clear in your mind, wanting to write down as much as you can before you lose it again. Heh, clear in your mind…there are some words you can rarely use to talk about yourself these days.

At first these lucid moments would come fairly frequently and you could actually enjoy being able to make sense of the world again, but lately they were becoming much more elusive and you were scared that they would stop all together. This was your reasoning for wanting to write down as much as you could while you still had the opportunity.

After a few moments thought you start typing furiously at the keyboard, not wanting to waste any more time…

 _I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to think straight so I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I am, and I'm sorry that you guys have to put up with me, but, well I can't help it right?_

 _At least that's what Latula keeps telling me…I'm not sure if I believe her anymore. I have no idea how much longer I'll keep getting these clear periods, though I get the feeling they won't be happening for much longer. And if I'm honest that scares me. I enjoy being able to think clearly, being able to feel like my old self again even if it is only for a short while._

 _I'm still not entirely sure what happened, and nobody will tell me no matter how much I ask. All I remember is that one moment the world made sense, and the next everything was mixed up and backwards. I hate it. I hate not being able to communicate properly, or even do the simplest of tasks without messing up. It's so fucking frustrating! Even venting that frustration without hurting myself or breaking something is a huge effort!_

 _As for everyone treating me differently, well that's the icing on the fucking cake. I don't want to be treated differently! I want things to go back to the way they were before…well before whatever shit happened to make me this way. Not that whatever I did made any difference, we all got fucking blown up anyway so what was the point?! Was it worth frying my think pan? Was it worth losing everything that made me…me?_

 _I don't think so, not really. And hey, maybe I wouldn't have done whatever if I'd known we were going to blow ourselves up anyway. Who knows? I get the feeling that if you guys had actually listened to me instead of shrugging it off then maybe things could've been different? Maybe Latula wouldn't have to babysit me? Maybe Cronus wouldn't be such a dick? Maybe…maybe a lot of things. But we shouldn't dwell on the past right?_

You pause for a moment, your head starting to swim a little. Were you losing it already? Shit…

 _Damn it, I don't think I have long left to get this done so…so I just want to say I'm sorry. And thank you. Thank you for putting up with me, even when I am being the most obnoxious, annoying little shit there is._

 _Especially you Tulip. Thank you for standing by me and watching out for me. I know it hasn't been easy, but you make it easier to cope, and give me hope that things will get better…maybe. Though I doubt it somehow._

 _Just remember that I lo_

You stop again as your head starts to ache, the scars around your eyes and forehead beginning to burn a little as your psiionics cracked and sparked erratically. They did that from time to time, usually when you were caught between these lucid moments and returning to how you usually were, and it never got any easier to deal with. You mutter a few obscenities under your breath, noting that your lisp was quickly becoming more prominent again. Despite this you are determined to finish your work, concentrating as hard as you can to type the rest of your sentence.

 _ve you...I love you Tulip_

With that you struggle to your feet and stumble away from the husktop, leaving it open and switched on. You frown as your feet struggle with the simple task you're asking of them but eventually manage to make it to the couch, collapsing onto it and clutching your head as the world once again became fuzzy and nonsensical.

When Latula found you a few hours later she was immediately worried but you managed to convince her that you were fine with that trademark goofy grin of yours, your eyes glinting playfully from behind your tousled mop of hair. When she notices your earlier work on the husktop screen she asks you about it, though all you can do is simply shrug and claim to have no memory of it.

It remains sat there on the screen until you fall asleep, which is when she sits down to read it properly. By the end she's practically in tears and is struggling to keep quiet so she doesn't accidentally wake you. She is unsure of what to do at first, debating on whether to delete it or save it somewhere safely for the future. She is sure of one thing though, and quickly goes about sending a copy to everyone, giving it the title 'Look what Mituna wrote…'.

When she was done she shut the husktop down and snuggled up next to you, holding you close and kissing your forehead softly through your scruffy hair.

"I love you too, babe…I love you too"

 **Well there you go! My first Homestuck fic/drabble/headcanon/whatever!**

 **I hope you enjoyed it, and if so go leave a review! 8D**

 **7H4NK5 GUY5!**


End file.
